The Bewitched

White people were the most amazing things to me growing up. I'd watch shows with blond white ladies and just marvel at their power. Even Samantha Stephens, who's husband tried desperately to make her adhere to his rules of submission, topped Darrin from the bottom. She was ultimately in control, using her dominant upperhand to catch the fumbling mortals when they fell at every turn. That twitchy witch was one freaky white mama that I envied.

I have trouble thinking of a hispanic lead female television role. The only woman of brown power that I can recall is Maria from Sesame Street. She had Luis buttwhipped in her own right. She's also handy with tools. She even owns and operates her own small business.


For your very own Buttwhipped shirt, visit my store:
The Bewitched
Everytime you buy a shirt from me God masturbates a kitten.